Sorry

I can't help you move because...

I’m busy attracting every other particle in the universe using a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses, but also inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
 

Regretfully,

Excused By

Are you here because your friends suddenly have excuses to not help you move?
Don't worry, we can find you new friends move helpers that are even better.