Sorry

I can't help you move because...

I’m busy attracting every other particle in the universe using a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses, but also inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
 
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Regretfully,

Use this excuse!

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Excused By

Are you here because your friends suddenly have excuses to not help you move?
Don't worry, we can find you new friends move helpers that are even better.